Knowing
Today I’m giving a shout out to all the people who repeat to themselves, and anyone who’ll listen - ‘I just don’t know what to do’.
Now, I’m not one to get up in your business but I’m urging you to rethink this one…
I commonly say that when I don’t know what to do, that I’ll do nothing. Trusting that I’ll eventually work out what to do, or I’ll forget all about it – which suggests that I never really had to know, because no action was obviously the best thing.
I believe that either we do already know but don’t want to admit it to ourselves, or we need to take the time to consider it, trusting that the knowing will eventually arrive.
The point is that ‘knowing’ is an active pursuit. We need to make time to sit with the things that seem hidden or unknown to us. We have to think about them, ponder the pros and cons and for me ultimately, we just need to believe that a ‘deep knowing’ will eventually arrive.
Today a knowing rolled around for me when I was talking to one of my best friends in the world. We weren’t even talking about the mystery that we both knew was lurking in my heart. But all of a sudden, I said to her – I do know. And actually, it’s a real knowing – I can’t ignore it.
I felt both a wave of relief and a wave of sadness roll over me at the same time. This one’s felt like a mystery to me for months, and no matter how bad I wanted to know what my next move would be, I wouldn’t allow myself to force an action on what I should do next. Patience and compassion I decided where the name of the game.
Now months later I can concede I did know, I always knew. But I think compassion for myself meant that I took my time to know for sure.
I’ve been asking women ‘What Do You Know For Sure?’ on my podcast of the same title for over four years now. I’ve had this conversation with 197 women from all over the world, at the time of writing this blog. There’s no sign I’ll be stopping asking this one anytime soon. My fascination with knowing in general intrigues me.
At first, when I started the podcast, I wondered if we would all know the same things. We don’t. Some themes run through the podcasts but it’s always a unique conversation.
As I sit here writing about Knowing what I know for sure today is that given time we really can answer all of our own questions. We just need to give ourselves space and time to reflect and ponder. Time to forget all about it and then remember and check in to see if we know yet, trusting that one day we will.
Knowing isn’t a road you can take someone along on with you. If done correctly it’s a wander you do on your own, understanding that once the decision is made that you can own it. And even when the decision or knowing is clear, no matter how you may reflect on it, that you made it on your own terms, in your own time and with the full trust of yourself.
So, if you are reading this and proclaiming you don’t know what to do about a situation you are in or a decision you need to make, I urge you to give yourself time. Not bury your head in the sand. But being honest enough with yourself to know a decision needs to be made and confident that your knowing is on its way and will arrive soon. You also need to get quiet enough to hear it when it does arrive, so go for a walk, turn off the tv, lie in the bath – do anything that will give you the opportunity to hear what your deepest wisdom is trying to tell you.
I believe when we do this that regret is seldom, and life on the inside feel so much more peaceful.
Listen to 'What Do You Know For Sure?' Podcast on streaming sites or here, https://whatdoyouknowforsure.buzzsprout.com
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